Here is all you need to know about the horrific capture of a GI Joe doll by the terrorists in Iraq. Seriously -- how desperate must these evildoers be if the only way they can get publicity is by perpetrating an enormous hoax?

Oh, and one more thing: Just because they might not know if one of their compatriots were captured, that doesn't mean we all operate at the same level of disorganization. We have what's called an Army, and those participating are generally known to their fellows and to their officers . . ..

Growing up, I wasn't a big "doll" person, so I had stuffed animals instead. From time to time, my brothers would take them and tell me they were going on "safari" (much to my chagrin). The only difference: They were six and seven years old -- not grown men . . . and certainly not terrorists.

I hope the GI Joe-nappers know the world is laughing at them.