Carol Platt Liebau

Friday, January 14, 2005

Interesting piece by David Brooks on the terrible tug between pursuing a career and having a family experienced by many women. Brooks suggests more "sequencing" options for women; perhaps, he suggests, they could raise their children between ages 25 and 35, then attend a graduate school with flexible programs designed especially for parents.

The same idea was floated some years ago by Danielle Crittendon in her excellent book "What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman."

But I've never been sure that "better" sequencing is really the answer. I married at 31, and made a much different (and better!) choice than I would have, say, ten years earlier. In many ways, I'm a different person than I was all those years ago . . . and if blessed with children, I suspect I'll be a much more patient and better mother -- with significantly less to "prove" in terms of my own life, and more emotional energy to focus on a child, rather than myself.


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