Townhall Column
My Townhall column -- discussing how, when it comes to matters of sex and behavior, we get what we expect from our children -- is here.
posted by LadybugUSA at 6:55 AM
Monday, November 19, 2007
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2 Comments:
If we as a society were level headed about sex and sexuality would we have all this junk about it?
Let's face it, we see sex being treated the way it is in movies, songs, tv etc. because the purveyors are just as obsessed with the slime of it as the Mrs. Grundys of the world. If the pornographer didn't have an all consuming contempt for his customer, and a hate for what he was showing, sex films would be a very different subject.
We like to think ourselves above instinct, and sex is governed by instinct. We insist that one must be mature and capable of rational reasoning before engaging in sex, ignoring that even small children get those feelings in an inchoate form, and other animals "do it" with no thought given to what it is they are doing.
We have our instincts. Some benefit us, others can lead us to harm. That because we know leave in a situation where following certain instincts will get us into trouble.
It comes down to this; we need to keep our eyes out for the less capable, to keep their youth, inexperience, and innocence from getting them into trouble. Because it will. Because they cannot understand why what they are doing or are proposing to do is wrong. They cannot understand why they shouldn't do it, and so our guidance is vital to their safety and well being.
Yes, kids as young as nine have their fantasies. Dressed up in all sorts of fanciful imagery, but fantasies. It is up to us to provide them with a safe place where they can dream their fantasmagorical dreams without coming to harm. But so long as sexual matters are treated as a subject to be virulently denied we only make our job that much harder on ourselves.
Thank you for the article, and I am in complete agreement. We raised 3 daughters and two sons (all happily married to great people) in an environment which just assumed and expected that sexuality was for marriage, no ifs, ands, or buts. And while none of them were prudes as far as I know, they all went through college and escaped the trauma associated with promiscuity, married for love, and didn't start having babies until well after marriage. It was always just expected, and they did not dissapoint. We had friends (one the pastor of our church) who had it in their mind that anything was possible with teenagers, and in his case it all came out bad. You get what you allow. You get what you expect.
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